Friendship—A Rare Commodity Indeed!  Hello weekend readers. Hope your week is going well. My musings for the weekend are about friendships. After seeing the “Oscar slap” it made me think of the often-shallowness of how friendships can really be. Great one moment, and making mockery of you or, in this case, your wife, for all to see and hear. I ask, “how would you have reacted?” For Will Smith, slapping someone was out of his normal character but then again, who expects a friend to trash their spouse publicly on a stage where millions are watching?

Those who study human behavior will tell you one of the toughest problems today is our ability to hide behind technology. We text or send emails instead of talking face-to-face, and when we are “anonymous” online we rarely can contain our anger and bad thoughts. Is it any wonder finding a friend and developing a great and lasting relationship is slipping away?

Here is a true story that happened in WWI. I’ll give the short version without all the war details, but you’ll get the point. The American troops in Italy had a Protestant chaplain with them. He was deeply loved by all the soldiers, and one local Roman Catholic priest! Their friendship was unusual since most clergy tended to stay within their own denomination (how sad). These clergy had a deep respect for each other and skirted the denominational restraints and did ministry together for both American and Italian troops, no matter their faith/no faith. How refreshingly progressive in those days, and what a great example of putting the love of God before man-made theologies.

Several months later, the American troops had orders to move on and sadly, the chaplain was killed in a fire-fight. The priest heard of this and asked the military authorities if he could bury his good friend in the cemetery at his church. He was given permission, however, his own Catholic diocese—albeit sympathetic—said it was not to be. They could not approve the burial of a non-Catholic in a Catholic cemetery!

The priest was not surprised with this stance, but he was not to be deterred either. So, he buried his friend right outside of the fence-line. Years later, several American war veterans who had deep friendships with both of these clergy, came back to Italy to visit the now old priest. “Can we see our chaplain’s grave?” they asked. They were aware of the diocese rules that didn’t allow their chaplain to be buried there.

So, the old priest took them to the cemetery and to the men’s surprise, they found his grave inside the fence! Astounded, they asked the priest how he finally got permission to move the body to rest within the cemetery. The priest, with a somewhat devious smile, replied: “They told me where I couldn’t bury the body, but nobody ever told me I couldn’t move the fence.”

What we see in this story is the power of friendship—the connection of human-to-human, and the love and care of the attributes of friendship. No wonder God created us for such a thing! God never intended for us to be alone, and that wasn’t just family, it was friendship in the family and outside the family. An old quote says “connecting with others is a chain reaction of God’s love.” So true! Scripture adds its mandate in Proverbs 27:17 [NLT]: “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

So why then, is having good friends such a rare commodity? We mentioned technology, but it goes deeper than that. Friendship requires humility, empathy, and a giving-up of one’s self for the better of another. In a society deeply immersed in selfishness and individualism, those qualities needed for cultivating friendship don’t fit in. It seems that the connections we find more important are those that keep our Wi-Fi going! Oh, what we are missing out on. From a personal stance, Al and I have friends that go back many years. Charlie-46 years, Jim and Marge-38 years, Kerri and Joe-30 years, Steve and Fayette-20 years. Our Thursday home group that I’ve been teaching for over 7 years, has given us priceless friendships as well as our pastors. We couldn’t imagine our lives without any of these people. They have mentored us, prayed for us, and stood in the gap so many times and the actions are mutual.

Dear readers—this IS God’s design starting from creation! If you feel isolated, look in the mirror first. Have you cultivated friendship? Yes, sometimes we can get “bitten” but God doesn’t want us to give up. We were created for connection—not to electricity—not to binge-watching Netflix—not to (fill in your distractions) but to other human beings. It’s time to “move the fence” and embrace one of the most powerful gifts we have from our Creator—other people.

You have your warts and pimples and so do they. Get over it, get out there and you’ll find a friend if you are willing to be a friend. “It’s complicated, it can hurt me” you say. Well think about this: it’s true to say, “Jesus is my best friend” and yes, Jesus is the only perfect friend. But…Jesus also bears our scars forever in the palms of his hands, in his side and in his feet. He just loved us too darn much to sever the friendship when we hurt him, AMEN.